Kevin Smith's Blog

Day 112 - ankle sprain

Monday, 20 December 2010

It seems I start every blog I write with an apology for not posting for some time. Well I'm not going to apologise today because I wrote a thought provoking and interesting blog called 'Day 100 – #GWnews' just a few days ago, that will unfortunately never see the light of day. You see after just half an hour of being posted the blog caused all sorts of unexpected hysteria and I reluctantly took it down. If you managed to read the post in the half an hour it was live consider yourself very lucky. If you didn't, you're going to have to get me very drunk at next year's GMG awards and I might just tell you what it said.

'Day 100 - #GWnews' did include some very uncontroversial stuff which it would be a shame to banish forever. So, here's that content:

My 30th birthday
Yes, it may come as a surprise but I reached the grand old age of 30 at the weekend. I'm coping well and have invested in some new face cream that will apparently take years off me. I celebrated by having a black tie dinner and dance and was surrounded by all of my dearest family and friends. It was absolutely mega. I got very drunk and threw some criminal shapes on the dance floor. A good time was had by all. Here's my wonderful Gemma, looking absolutely gorgeous:

GMG Awards

These feel like a distant memory and I don't really want to comment on the winners and losers. I'd rather tell you about my sensory experiences of the day. So, in chronological order, I was:
  • Kissed by Mark Diacono. I like Mark so it's not a problem. Is this the new way heterosexual men should greet each other though?
  • Massaged by Carol Klein. It's the truth.
  • Fondled by Martyn Cox. Fondled is probably the wrong word - he was just trying to find my keys in my trouser pocket. He's denying it.
  • Snogged by Christine Lavelle. It was more of an attack and Mick (her husband) didn't seem to mind.

So, who's in full-on Christmas mode? I have been since 10 December when I filled my house with enough mistletoe, holly, ivy and florists' oasis to take Sarah Raven out of business. Yes, I do like the odd bit of 'greenery' about the place over the festive period, but I have a proper excuse this time. You see I created lots of lovely decorations for Gardeners' World magazine and Sarah Cuttle photographed them. Sarah and me 'crafted' our way through the day with copious amounts of mince pies (try this recipe - they really are mega easy and delicious), and by some miracle managed to make parts of my tiny Westcliff on Sea semi look a bit like something out of Martha Stewart Living. It was a thoroughly lovely experience, and just the kind of thing I hoped I'd do when I left Gardeners' World back in August. Of course, I can't show you anything I created because it'll give the game away for next year (the projects were for December 2011), but here's something I made with the leftovers:

And is anyone hacked off with the snow? To be honest, I'm a bit fed up of hearing about nothing else on every television channel and radio station, but it has severely effected us. Admittedly Westcliff hasn't been hit too badly (the supermarkets are still full of food, the roads are relatively clear and nobody really cares if our tiny airport closes), but sadly Gemma slipped in the snow and has rather spectacularly buggered her ankle. The three of us were on the way to a Christmas party, with Gemma carrying Ida in a sling. She fell at a really funny angle to protect Ida and let out such a blood-curdling scream that half expect to see a bit of bone sticking out of her Primark snow boot (luckily there was no bone otherwise I'd have passed out). We called an ambulance, which never came (can you believe it? They left Gemma laying on a cold snowy pavement in sub-zero temperatures for more than an hour and a half), and we eventually had to accept the good will of two passers by (Mark and Graham, they were very lovely) who managed to raise Gemma from the ground, get her in a car and bring her home. What a drama. Anyway, Gemma eventually got to A&E and was told there's no lasting damage. The trouble is she can't walk properly and is likely to be that way for two or three weeks. The bloody snow has a lot to answer for. Anyway, that's enough doom and gloom. Happy Christmas - I hope you're good and Santa brings you what you want.

Until next time...

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Kevin Smith | Garden Media Writer and Editor

On 31 August 2010 I quit my full-time job as the Commissioning Editor at Gardeners' World Magazine to be a stay-at-home dad  and to try and scratch a living as a freelance garden journalist. It's often said that a 'life change' is good, but can I cut it with the yummy mummys? Will I manage to get a single shred of work done? Will Ida (she's the gorgeous little girl who's the cause of all this) like gardening as much as me? Who knows, we're going to find out...